As you may have noticed, I don’t update this blog much anymore. That’s because I’m so busy in my real-world business that I barely have the time. Well, I said in 2018 I am going to start publishing guest posts, and I’m true to my word. This one is from JD. Enjoy…
Statistically speaking Asian women are the most popular and sought after choice for western men. Is it any secret why? When you combine the Asian stereotypes of beauty, femininity, and traditional values with the overall mystique of the orient which has captured the West’s imagination for hundreds of years; it’s not surprising that more and more men are looking east for serious relationships (that’s without mentioning the ever narrowing dating pool in the West)
While there’s no magical land of milk and honey where all women are honest, look like supermodels, and relish in traditional gender roles, the possibility of finding a beautiful woman made of wife-material (or at least LT girlfriend material) is arguably higher in parts of the east then it is in places like Western Europe and the United States.
If your not a digital nomad, globetrotting blogger, or you don’t live abroad; these women can seem far out of reach. But thankfully world travel and communication is cheaper and more accessible that it has ever been. Dating beautiful yet sincere foreign women, though still not a small feat, is quite possible for the rest of us.
All it takes it a little know how and a bit of tenacity and it can be done. This post covers a 6 step process you can use to meet and date serious minded asian women without living in the country long term.
1) Know What You Want
Where are you going
To say you want to go abroad to meet asian women is to cast a broad net. Eastern Asia is a hodgepodge of countries, each with their own language and culture. It’s a good idea to do some general research on these countries before you decide where you want to go.
Make sure the general cultural values and proclivity of the women in the country is something that appeals to you. Do your homework. Talk to men who have dated or married women from the countries you’re considering. Art of Selfhood certainly provides some solid information in this regard, but there are other bloggers and men out there who will have valuable input as well.
What type of woman are you looking for
Once you’ve settled on which country you’ll travel too, it’s time to further define the type of women you’d like to meet. Odds are that if you’re looking for serious relationship, traits like family values and traditional gender roles will be a given (you are making an effort to date halfway across the world afterall). You’ll want to refine your parameters for a potential partner even more.
Things like age range, religious beliefs (if any), level of education or profession, marital status (never married, widowed, divorced), etc are all questions you should answer for yourself ahead of time. The sites you’ll be using will likely have thousands of women, which at times can be a curse more than a blessing. Deciding on your requirements before you start looking will help you narrow down your search from the start and save you a lot of time and energy (and even money).
2) Confirm the Market
With your list of requirements in hand now it’s time to scout possible locations. Unless you’ve picked an obscure Asian country like Mongolia or Myanmar there’s probably at least one dedicated international dating site for your country of choice.
A slight caveat here on the type of sites you should avoid: stay clear from any site that charges you per letter, message, or chat. I won’t go into it here but these are well orchestrated scams. Also avoid free dating sights. There’s no gate on these sites thus they’re full of scammers, prostitutes, and unsavory types. There may be some genuine women on these sites but they are few and far between.
I’m gradually building up a list of safer dating sites to use in your search. For now you can check out Cupid Media’s list of Asian dating sites. They aren’t perfect, but if you exercise common sense you should be able to use these sites without any issue.
That being said, it’s time to sign up for a free account on your selected site (no need to pay just yet). Using your criteria from step one, run a search of profiles in the city you plan on visiting. Make sure there is a reasonable number of active/recent profiles in that city which fit your requirements. The more the better. Remember that just because this is an honest dating site, not all of the women will respond to you or be interested in meeting.
The more profiles that meet your parameters the better. Some margin is good.
If you don’t find enough profiles that fit the bill try a different city. If you’re still out of luck you can try a different site or consider a different country altogether. There’s also no harm in using more than one site for one city. Again, the more options the better.
3) Book Your Travel
Once you’ve confirmed that your chosen city has enough eligible women to warrant a trip, it’s time to pick a date and book your travel arrangements. I recommend giving yourself at least 4 weeks before your departure date to build your online profile and start contacting women.
4) Market Yourself
Online dating mirrors in-person dating in many ways. Just as it’s important to act the part and make a good impression in the real world, so too is it vital in the virtual one. Remember that even though there are a lot of women on these sites, there are also a lot of men. The ratios probably won’t be as bad as most western dating sites, but you can still be sure that a woman with an attractive profile will be contacted by many men. You need to stand out as best as you can.
Find a decent camera and get a friend to take a few photos. You don’t need much, just a couple decent portraits, a shot that shows your body type, and maybe a “candid” action shot that shows you doing something you love (fixing a car, playing guitar, reading, etc). It helps to smile and look confident. Whatever you do avoid the bathroom selfie (in fact selfies in general are a bad idea).
9 out of 10 guys on these sites will more or less list the same general personal information: I work as a —, I live in –, I enjoy nature, I’m looking for a woman with traditional values, blah blah blah. Get specific in your profile. You don’t need to write a book, but give little details that’ll help a woman imagine your life and your personality.
Try something like: “I enjoy my job as a program engineer because I get to solve difficult problems for software companies.” or “I live in — which is near the ocean and on weekends I like visit the beach”. Obviously don’t lie. Adding a few tangible details will long way to helping your profile stand out.
Send introduction letters to eligible women
I recommend crafting a sort of introduction letter template that you can use to make first contact with women. This is also a fairly important part of the online dating process, but I won’t go into too much detail here. Basically you want to follow an outline that looks something like this:
- Introduction (answer all the typical first date questions: Name, age, body type, where you live, career, religion, marital status (divorced, widowed, never married), any children, etc).
- Personal touch: mention something specific to her profile that got your attention (her eyes, her smile, her hobbies, etc).
- Tell your story (paint a picture in her mind of your day to day life): I enjoy my job because__, I love to __ (hobbies), in my city I often ___, I love spending time with my children, etc. (remember be specific)
- What I’m looking for: ie my life is good but it would better if I could share it with a woman who…..
- Ask her if she’s interested: Tell her the dates of your trip and ask her if she’d be interested in getting to know you more online and eventually in person. Make sure you’re upfront about the purpose of your trip if you’re specifically going to look for a serious romantic partner. Believe it or not many foreign women will actually appreciate your initiative and seriousness.
Each section of the letter should be more or less a paragraph long. This outline should be used as a template from which you can add personal touches to each letter. It’s a good idea to avoid simply copy and pasting identical messages to each woman (it’s just as annoying for them as it is for you).
5) Set Up Dates and Avoid Scams
Before your trip only communicate with women as much as you have to
Set dates up with the women who show interest. Try to avoid writing too much or too long before your actual trip. Yes you’ll want to get to know the ladies, and they likewise will want to know more about you; but the real test of compatibility will always be a face to face interaction. Emphasize that when you communicate with them.
Watch out for red flags (scammers)
International and domestic dating sites alike have a continuing problem with fake profiles and would-be romance scammers. The problems is so widespread it’s caught the dedicated attention of the FBI. There’s always a chance the new woman you’ve started messaging isn’t real. Even so, the signs of a scam are usually pretty obvious:
- Overly romantic or passionate messages.
- Unrealistic attraction (a 20 year old playboy model looking for a 60 year old grampa).
- Messages that don’t quite make sense (says she likes your picture but you haven’t uploaded one yet, she doesn’t answer obvious questions you ask or asks questions that seem out of place from your conversation).
- She asks for money (never send money to someone you’ve never met!)…common sense guys.
Confirm your dates with interested women
Finalize your date arrangements before you leave. You want to have dates lined before you even step off the plane.
6) Enjoy Your Dates
There is where all your time and effort pays off. Enjoy your time with these women. If you followed this process you’re likely to meet some beautiful and genuine women. Trust me it’s worth it.
This process isn’t completely foolproof (what plan is?), but it’s a great starting point. Contrary to what anyone would take the time to tell you, as men we are no longer limited by local romantic options. There is literally an entire world before us. All you need to do is to make an effort to discover it.