A lot of people have asked me if I believe in “The Secret”, a popular book and DVD which has taken the world by storm in the last five years, and lays bare the secret of success in any calling.
Does it work? The answer is yes and no. Let me explain.
The Secret teaches that in order to have what you want in life, you simply need to visualize it and believe it, and if you truly believe with all of your heart that you will have it, the universe will rearrange itself through quantum mechanics and deliver to you exactly what you demand. This is called The Law of Attraction.
I do not believe this.
I believe the secret does indeed work, but not through the hocus pocus touted by those wanting to sell a fool’s paradise to lazy people who want to wish their way to success.
Do you want to know how it really works in a way that is logical, reasonable and verifiable by anyone with a brain?
Here’s the real secret: Thoughts become feelings. Feelings become actions. Actions lead to consequences and real change in the physical world.
That’s how it works, and that’s what I teach here at The Art of Selfhood.
You need to gain mastery over one thing and one thing only: your own mind. Once you master your mind, and begin to think in a positive, disciplined manner, the feelings of positivity, self-respect and belief in yourself will follow. From that, you will begin to take actions which lead to the real life results you visualize and dream of. If your mind is a fertile field, then you reap what you sew. It’s that simple.
“But how do I gain control of my mind?” I hear you ask. The answer is that like everything worth doing, it takes time and work. If you’re willing to put in the time and effort, you will begin to influence your own subconscious mind and the results will begin to manifest very shortly.
Here are some tools you can use to get you started:
Meditation – The ancient Buddhist art of meditation is a hugely powerful tool for personal and mental transformation. Gaining awareness of your own mind is a key stage in development and self understanding, which then leads to control. I have written a full article on meditation and the various disciplines. You can find out more by clicking “The Power of Meditation” on the side menu. There’s a reason this practice has been around for 3000 years.
Mantras and Affirmations – Personal mantras and affirmations are a very powerful tool. You need to find out what your weaknesses are, what negative dialogue you repeat in your mind and you need to challenge that with a positively phrased mantra.
Do you believe you aren’t good-looking enough for beautiful women? Bullsh*t! Go to the mirror, look at yourself and smile. You are a handsome guy, you are funny, you are smart and you can make women happy and want to be around you. Say it out loud and look yourself in the eye. Do it every single day until you believe it, and watch those ladies come to you (proper grooming, style and a decent job will also help).
Do you believe you can’t manage money? Well guess what? Belief manifests as reality through the belief-feeling-action chain we have already talked about. You CAN manage it. You are a grown adult with the ability to CHOOSE what you spend and when. There are some things in life you can’t control, but this is one of the things you can.
Do you believe you’re too skinny to gain muscle or lose weight? Perish the thought! Gaining muscle and losing weight are both a SCIENCE. I guarantee you now if you get educated in nutrition and you work hard in the gym and recover persistently, you will be able to gain (or lose) consistently. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Persistence pays. Go look in the mirror again and tell yourself, I CAN gain 20-40lbs of muscle because it’s SCIENCE. For a practical education on bodybuilding head over to www.bodybuilding.com and make sure to read my articles The Power of Exercise and Nutrition 101.
Little victories – Starting small and winning little victories is a huge confidence booster and a massively useful tool for gaining belief in yourself, which is critical to success in any calling. Do something small to prove to yourself you can control the circumstances of your life and take yourself in the direction you wish. What like? Say no to the six-pack of beer and go for a jog and some pushups instead two nights a week. When in the store, put down the chocolate bar just once and pick up some milk and fruit. Say good morning to that cute girl you wish you had the guts to talk to, just a simple good morning and nod, and walk on by. Say no to opening that porn website and jerking off, at least until you’ve done your daily pushups.
When you win little victories and gain in confidence, you will gain self belief and control of your mind, feelings and actions. Negative thoughts will become replaced with positive thoughts, negative feelings with positive feelings, and negative, self-destructive actions with positive, powerful and life enhancing actions that lead you to your dreams. It won’t happen overnight, but as they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day!
That’s the real secret. No hocus pocus. Just good old-fashioned cause and effect.
Desire. Decide. Persist.