Note: This site is for men, but this article applies equally to the ladies out there who might be reading. How to handle getting dumped advice applies equally to both sexes, although this guide is written for a male readership.
There are very few men walking the earth who can sincerely say they haven’t felt the horrible gauntlet of emotions that comes with getting dumped by a girl they were into.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to the best of us. You’ve just got to accept it and learn how to handle getting dumped properly.
Hell, I got dumped when I was chiseled out of granite in the best shape of my life, making more money than I had ever made, and was on top form with my game. It’s sometimes something you just can’t avoid, and that’s the way it is.
Knowing that helps, but it doesn’t stop getting dumped from majorly sucking balls. In fact, it’s one of the worst feelings in the word, period. The rejection is something primitive, like getting shunned out of your tribe, and even the strongest of men with hearts of stone can be turned to rubble when a woman they love leaves them in the dust.
So how should you handle it when it does happen? This isn’t going to be some BS feel good article telling you how to win her back or that you should slather lavender oil on yourself and take a bubble bath – no, this is going to be real talk 101, and I’m going to share my tips with you which I learned from personal experience.
I’m happily married currently to Mrs. Freedom, but if she ever drops the axe on me, I’ll be using this list to get myself through.
How to Handle Getting Dumped and Move Forward
(1) Accept It – This might sound simple, but you’ll be amazed how many guys go through a range of emotions ranging from outright denial to red hot rage and everything in between. All of this is natural for a while and psychologists state that denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance is the natural order of emotions when facing any loss or major life change.
The quicker you can get to acceptance, the less time you have to spend dealing with those shitty, horrible emotions that come before it. It may hurt your ego and be hard to swallow, but the sooner you accept that it’s over and you aren’t the man for her, the better.
Don’t waste time thinking up BS ways to win her back, analyzing what you did wrong, thinking of who she might be with, and looking for every possible way to get a text or email from her. This woman left you high and dry and it is a 99.99% certified fact that there’s already another man in her life, so the sooner you suck it up and start focusing on moving forward, the better.
Accepting it is 99% of how to handle getting dumped. The rest is just practical strategy to save yourself torment.
(2) Stop All Contact – The natural tendency when a woman leaves you is to delude yourself into thinking that if you can ‘just be friends’ and ‘keep in contact’ you’ll be OK and deal with it better. I’m calling BS on this right from day one. I watched one of my best buddies go through this, and he was literally picking his ex up late at night after she had just been with another guy, and he didn’t put it together because he believed they were still friends.
Here’s the truth: you can never, ever, be friends with your ex. Once you’ve been in a sexual relationship with someone it can’t flip back. Someone will always harbor feelings, even if they pretend otherwise. You just have to cut the chord. Don’t pick up the phone, don’t answer calls, don’t give her a ride anywhere, and don’t share how you’re feeling.
If she cared about you she wouldn’t have taken a massive dump on your life to fulfill her own selfish desires. Break up amicably and don’t be a whine, but once it’s over, walk away and never, ever look back.
Every single time you break this rule, you will regret it.
(3) Get into the Gym – This is often the absolute last thing you want to do when you feel the blues that follow being abandoned, but it is the best thing you can do on several fronts. Yet when asking yourself how to handle getting dumped, hitting the gym is literally one of the best things you could do for yourself.
First, going to them gym will increase your serotonin levels. Serotonin is a feel-good brain chemical which makes you feel a warm glow of happiness. A lot of gym rats reading will know it well – it’s that warm, happy feeling that comes with beasting yourself into the ground and getting that highly addictive reward afterwards. This is what you want after a breakup because your brain is going through serotonin withdrawal and that’s why you feel like a bag of crap.
Second, going to the gym and watching your body transform will give you confidence. When you get dropped by a woman one of the first things that happens is you start doubting yourself and feel a little unsure about yourself. You start asking questions like ‘What’s this guy got that I don’t?’ and ‘Am I losing my sexual appeal?’. Those questions are natural and all part of dealing with rejection, but there’s literally nothing that will restore your confidence faster than watching yourself turn into an athletic, toned beast in the mirror.
Lastly, women will respond to you more favourably. You are soon going to realize that the what you’re missing and craving, any woman can give you, and the faster you get it from someone else, the sooner you’re going to feel better and move forward.
Women find it difficult to resist a muscular or athletic man. Since you’re now single and allowed to be with literally any woman you wish, that’s enough reason all on its own to be in the gym developing your body.
A great body equals more sex, guys. Let nobody tell you otherwise.
(4) Start Dating ASAP – There’s absolutely no need whatsoever to fall into another relationship or go back to any of the girls you’ve kept in touch with.
I can’t emphasize this strongly enough, but after the first little period of sadness that comes with losing someone you care for, there will be a wave of immense liberation, personal growth and happiness. Being single for a while is truly one of the best things in the world, and one of the greatest benefits is the gorgeous ladies you can date, have fun with and have new adventures with.
Get yourself out into the game ASAP. Don’t go to the horrible meat markets known as night clubs unless that’s your natural comfort zone. Just talk to women, use the dating tools at your disposal (I will repeat again: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH INTERNET DATING – THIS IS 2016 FFS), and meet new women. You will meet some you like, some you don’t, some you think are weirdos and some who are the coolest girls you ever met – just get the one who left you out of your head and realize you just lost one lady and inherited a whole world full of them.
Nothing will make you feel like a man again faster than a new, exciting beautiful woman wrapping herself around you as you make her squeal with pleasure.
Yes, get out there and get back in the game. You have to do it eventually, so it might as well be today.
(5) Do Something You Couldn’t – Here’s the deal, this is both a good and a bad thing, just like everything else in life. Yes, being left sucks, but there’s a major, major upside to being single, too, and it’s up to you to rediscover it.
Think of things you couldn’t do when you were with your ex, like travel to Amsterdam, drink yourself stupid for one weekend and meet a Ukranian beauty, and do that. You’re a FREE MAN, and there are men all over the world who would commit murder if they could get away with t to be in your position.
Take full advantage of this period of time, which won’t last forever. Stop looking back at what you lost, and start focusing on everything you have to look forward to.
(6) Forgive Her – This might seem counterintuitive and immature men dishing out advice will tell you to get revenge on her, show her your new hot girl, and all manner of other childish bullshit that ultimately still has you playing her game and keeps her at the center of your motivation.
Forgiveness is not a weakness, it’s a strength. All the major schools of thought and religions teach that. When you forgive a person and wish them well on their journey of life, they lose all power over you and you become like Teflon, nothing they do sticks to you.
I learned this one the hard way when a woman I was dating who turned out to be married stole a couple of years of my life from me, making me a seething, angry, vengeful person. I had to get over it by simply letting go, forgiving her for her flaws (which we all have), and wishing her well on her journey of life.
The sooner you can get to this stage where you don’t feel any anger and wish your ex well, the sooner their actions will stop affecting you, period. When you see her in the street with a new guy, you can just shrug, smile and think “Good for you”, without giving it another thought.
It takes a while to get to this stage, but it’s ultimately what you’re aiming for. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if you could just get there from the start, without all the BS drama most people have to go through beforehand?
Forgiveness isn’t weakness – it’s a weapon you can use to free yourself from the pain other people inflict upon you. Use it when you get dumped, and you’ll save yourself a hell of a lot of wasted energy on someone who clearly doesn’t care much about you anyway.
How to Handle Getting Dumped Summary
Fellas, getting dumped sucks, and there’s simply no way around it.
You’re going to have to take a little pain if you cared about the one who left you, but like all things, it will pass.
Paying attention to and doing the things on this list will give you what you need to pull through and move on with your life. It will also speed up the process of healing and growth as a person.
Now you know how to handle getting dumped without making things worse!
As always fellas,
Desire. Decide. Persist.